Where Did That Sh!t Come From?

Where Did That Sh!t Come From?

So last night before the hockey game my wife got home from work and I went out to help bring in the few bags of groceries she had picked up.

She handled most of them since they were already in her hands and I grabbed the door and released the hounds! Our dogs go nuts every time we come home, actually, every time we walk out the side door and walk back in. They think they have the right to tear off into the back yard, do a few laps, do some 'business', or not, come in, get a treat and jump all over each other for ten minutes because they're so happy to see us, again!
Like we were gone for decades or something.

Anyway, I opened the door, the dogs exit, come back in, the wife puts down the bags, I reach for the dog treats and see I have fresh bird shit on my thumb! Really fresh! Now it's 7 o'clock at night and I swear there weren't any birds flying around when I went out to the car so how the hell did I get bird shit on my THUMB?

Not my head, not my shoulder, my thumb!
Gross! Now we gotta get moving or we're going to miss have the game so I scrub my hand, and thumb, with dish detergent, dry it with a paper towel and head out the door with my youngest son!

After the game I park my wife's car in the street because mine needs gas and she leaves before me for work so instead switching around in the am, I'll do after the station that way I can get a few extra hours (minutes) of sleep. (It's a mind game in my own head, another story)

When my son and I reach the side door there is a frantic sparrow flying around under the awning of the side door! It startled me. This space is only three and a half feet by three and a half feet square under here. I back up and try to shoo it away but it won't leave. No matter what I do it continues to fly around under the awning every once in awhile landing on the light.

As a matter of fact it's looking at me like I'm trespassing on its territory! I mean really, I'm getting the evil eye from this little brown feather duster! "Really dude! You shit on me earlier!"

Now the light bulb goes off! Pun intended. I know why it won't leave! Ever since our friendly neighbors across the street or whoever it is, has broken into several of our cars in surrounding 6 houses, I've left the side light on. Now that the temp has dropped to below freezing, that little critter decided it was a good place to stay warm.

Resolution without death because I am an animal lover. I turned the light off. An hour and a half later she was gone.

I can't be tracking bird poop into my house with a brand new baby in the family, just can't. It'll find somewhere else to stay warm I'm sure.

Probably, the front porch light.....